I have the soulmate debate at least once a year with someone. It's not a debate over the existance of a person's soulmate. It's a debate over the idea that someone has found theirs. I believe I have a soul mate. I also believe my wife is not her. Therefore, by that token, I am not hers. That doesn't bother me one bit. I know someone is out there that could be a better fit in my life and the same is true for my wife. Let me explain before I get labeled "Worst Husband Alive".
I don't know exactly how many people there are in this world. You don't either, so stop thinking about it. I don't think I need any proof that you are not with your soulmate. The numbers and stats work in my favor. I think we date, break-up, search, date, break-up, search, and repeat the cycle 100 times, because we keep on finding something else missing in the previous relationship. We evolve as humans in relationships but the relationship doesn't always evolve with us. So why not leave it behind? What is it that makes you stop looking? In reality you did find the best person for you........so far. Do you really think it can't get any better? It did many times before so why not now?
What is it about marriage that makes us believe we're done looking? It's like saying "I know you like this restaurant a lot and it's your favorite so you should stop going anywhere else." That's ridiculous. And that's using an example of something that only satisfies you temporarily. Think about what improving your relationship or love life could bring you in terms of happiness. Can you ever be "happy enough"? No, you can't.
This is one subject I am truly passionate about and could talk/write about it for days. I will keep it simple and say this- While I believe we will never find our soulmate, there is someone out there that can make you happier than you are today. Whether you choose to find them is your choice. Is it so absurd to think that you stopped looking too soon?
It can be described as the Seinfeld of blogs. There is no real agenda but the same people and places show up five days a week but in different situations.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Babies and our sacrifices
Literally 30 minutes ago I thought about something that made me absolutely perplexed. I stopped making my snack to sit down here and write it out in hope that it would solve this mystery that has me in a state of confusion.
Nearly everyone that makes a conscious decision to have a child has heard warnings of sacrifice and hardship from more than one person. They all have periods of doubt and feel the weight of burden. It actually expected. Nobody hides the fact that parenthood is scary and often a pain in the ass. They don't have to hide it. We see it all around us with children that aren't our responsibility. We see it in siblings, friends that are parents, and even strangers in the local supermarket struggling to control their kid while choosing which set of bananas are riper.
So my confusion stems from this question-Why do we do it? Why do we hear and see all the horrors of parenthood but still decide to proceed? Sure, you can sit there now with your newborn, your toddler, your high school graduate or your great grandchild and say it's all worth it. That's easy. You already met them. You know it was worth it. Why do we willingly throw ourselves into a certain chaotic life for someone we have never met when we don't have to? You wouldn't do it for your wife or your husband before you knew they'd be your husband or wife. You wouldn't do it for your best friend before you knew they'd be your best friend. Why are you willing to do it for this little person you haven't met? There are thousands of really, really great people that you and I will never meet. If we did we'd be ecstatic to know them and have them in our life but even then they aren't there for a guaranteed 18 years for you to care for. Your child is. The sad truth is that it's not even a guaranteed happy 18 years.
All of this is avoidable but we still take that leap of faith into parenthood. It's all a gamble from the start. The baby's sex, eye color, height, weight, hair color, and even health. We still decide to roll the dice but I don't know why.
Nearly everyone that makes a conscious decision to have a child has heard warnings of sacrifice and hardship from more than one person. They all have periods of doubt and feel the weight of burden. It actually expected. Nobody hides the fact that parenthood is scary and often a pain in the ass. They don't have to hide it. We see it all around us with children that aren't our responsibility. We see it in siblings, friends that are parents, and even strangers in the local supermarket struggling to control their kid while choosing which set of bananas are riper.
So my confusion stems from this question-Why do we do it? Why do we hear and see all the horrors of parenthood but still decide to proceed? Sure, you can sit there now with your newborn, your toddler, your high school graduate or your great grandchild and say it's all worth it. That's easy. You already met them. You know it was worth it. Why do we willingly throw ourselves into a certain chaotic life for someone we have never met when we don't have to? You wouldn't do it for your wife or your husband before you knew they'd be your husband or wife. You wouldn't do it for your best friend before you knew they'd be your best friend. Why are you willing to do it for this little person you haven't met? There are thousands of really, really great people that you and I will never meet. If we did we'd be ecstatic to know them and have them in our life but even then they aren't there for a guaranteed 18 years for you to care for. Your child is. The sad truth is that it's not even a guaranteed happy 18 years.
All of this is avoidable but we still take that leap of faith into parenthood. It's all a gamble from the start. The baby's sex, eye color, height, weight, hair color, and even health. We still decide to roll the dice but I don't know why.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Ravens/Steelers rivalry
When you read this post keep in mind that I'm a Yankees fan. Love me or hate me, you have to know that I understand what a real rivalry is and what a real rivalry should be between fans. This is why I don't understand the Ravens/Steelers "rivalry".
The term rivalry is used far too loosely here in Baltimore. It's really nothing more than a grudge. That's all it is and that's all it will be. When a team (insert yellow and gold colored team) has dominated every bit of your existence in the NFL then there is no rivalry. That includes scoring, individual stats, regular season play, post season play, and general success in the team's history. So, why the hardcore rivalry and general hate towards Pittsburgh? I have an answer! Those that know me might say I rarely don't have an answer. Those that know me better would say that I rarely have the correct one. But sometimes I am so convincing that even I start to believe my on-the-fly answers. And that is our city motto, right? "BELIEVE!" So BELIEVE me, hon.
Question: Why the feeling of intense hate and rivalry?
Answer: This is a case of a city population not having much else to grab onto as far as team sports are concerned. We have no basketball team. We have no hockey team. We have no baseball team. (Go ahead, look at the team's attendance and record over the last ten years and argue that the Orioles are supported like a team with rich history should be. Look at the attendance when a prime opponent isn't in town. I'll wait...................Finished? We havea swimmer, but his uniform would look ridiculous if worn at the local watering hole so he's irrelevant in this conversation. This city has watched the city of brotherly love succeed in the sports world over the last ten years as well as the nation's capital find success in hockey if nothing else sports related. Baltimore has had nothing but our August appearance of the purple and black to look forward to over recent years. I love the energy, vibe, and fan support. I truly do. I don't love the obnoxious Ravens fan that has blinders on to everything that has happened around the NFL over its history. It's much bigger and much more important than the Ravens are. These fans have to learn that.
The truth is this- if the Ravens went on to win this weekend, win the Super Bowl, then sweep the division next year and go to the playoffs again, they still fall far behind in inter team history and league history. There still isn't a real rivalry. Talk to the Eagles and the Giants fans or the Skins and the Cowboys fans then reassess your opinion that there is a legitimate rivalry between Baltimore and Pittsburgh.
I'll leave with this thought: The real rivalry should be about who is more obnoxious, the Philly fans or the Baltimore fans. The difference between the two is that Philly has earned it so technically their obnoxiousness is more appropriately labeled as pride.
The term rivalry is used far too loosely here in Baltimore. It's really nothing more than a grudge. That's all it is and that's all it will be. When a team (insert yellow and gold colored team) has dominated every bit of your existence in the NFL then there is no rivalry. That includes scoring, individual stats, regular season play, post season play, and general success in the team's history. So, why the hardcore rivalry and general hate towards Pittsburgh? I have an answer! Those that know me might say I rarely don't have an answer. Those that know me better would say that I rarely have the correct one. But sometimes I am so convincing that even I start to believe my on-the-fly answers. And that is our city motto, right? "BELIEVE!" So BELIEVE me, hon.
Question: Why the feeling of intense hate and rivalry?
Answer: This is a case of a city population not having much else to grab onto as far as team sports are concerned. We have no basketball team. We have no hockey team. We have no baseball team. (Go ahead, look at the team's attendance and record over the last ten years and argue that the Orioles are supported like a team with rich history should be. Look at the attendance when a prime opponent isn't in town. I'll wait...................Finished? We havea swimmer, but his uniform would look ridiculous if worn at the local watering hole so he's irrelevant in this conversation. This city has watched the city of brotherly love succeed in the sports world over the last ten years as well as the nation's capital find success in hockey if nothing else sports related. Baltimore has had nothing but our August appearance of the purple and black to look forward to over recent years. I love the energy, vibe, and fan support. I truly do. I don't love the obnoxious Ravens fan that has blinders on to everything that has happened around the NFL over its history. It's much bigger and much more important than the Ravens are. These fans have to learn that.
The truth is this- if the Ravens went on to win this weekend, win the Super Bowl, then sweep the division next year and go to the playoffs again, they still fall far behind in inter team history and league history. There still isn't a real rivalry. Talk to the Eagles and the Giants fans or the Skins and the Cowboys fans then reassess your opinion that there is a legitimate rivalry between Baltimore and Pittsburgh.
I'll leave with this thought: The real rivalry should be about who is more obnoxious, the Philly fans or the Baltimore fans. The difference between the two is that Philly has earned it so technically their obnoxiousness is more appropriately labeled as pride.
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